I Cant Tink Of Anytin More Impt Than EU

Thursday, December 20, 2007

saw ur post my heart shattered.. after u posted the new song.. its was like u breaking the shattered pieces of my heart more.. i feel so much like just escaping reality and care nth about this.. but im the type who MUST settle problems.. somemore I LOVE YOU tats y i dunwan escape reality.

"傻瓜我们都一样被爱情伤了又伤相信这个他不一样却又再一次受伤" when i asked u if it represents u.. u said dunno i treated it as a yes.. i tot i could be a guy who can make a difference in ur life. turns out im no diff from ur ex.. misplacing the trust u gave n hurting u again.. IM SUCH A LOSER.. i noe u will try convince me tat im not.. but i know i am still one..

"傻瓜我们都一样受了伤却不投降相信付出会有代价代价只是一句傻瓜" when i asked if this represents u.. u said dunno again.. and i treated it as yes.. this line proven the first line on top tat i m someone where u trying giving ur love and i treated it lightly..

"Sometimes or i shud say everytime, whenever i sees them, i would envys them! I dunno why either. or maybe i dunno how lucky am i bahhs..." i know vy clearly that the them u meant is jianliang and xiaowei just tat i asked u again just to make sure i dun anyhow think.. i noe i cant give u wad jianliang gives her.. jianliang is always treating her so gd.. like shes a gem.. and making u feel unlike when u see them.. i know i cant give u wad jianliang can give her.. IM SUCH A LOSER.. i dunno if im right to say this.. but can u dun always compare our love wif other ppl.. u ownself tell me diff ppl have diff ways of loving.. i feel so confused..

the part bout u saying wan commit suicide.. u said u have though about it before.. "i myself have thought of it too." i dunno if its now or last time.. if its now.. if u choose to die.. i have nth to say.. cause this shows that theres nth left in this world to keep u going on.. including me..

"What i believe is, when eu are about to die, or have think of dying, the person that came into ur mind, is the person that eu wouldnt bear to LOSE!!! Touch ur heart and ask yourself!!I know what ur answer is. And i noe im not the person that eu dont wish to lose! maybe ur other friends? maybe ur family? maybe ur hu n hu? i dunno! " if this line meant me.. den i wanna tell u that wat makes u think u wont come into my mind.. have u it ever came to ur mind tat.. if u were not the person tat i wont want to lose when im about to die.. do u tink i would still love you? do u tink i would still be wif u? do u tink i would still find u? do u tink i would still bother to chat wif u? do u tink i would always think bout u? do u tink i would change for u? do u tink you could affect my moods? do u tink... so many do u tink.. tis is all i can say.. if u still dun tink the person i wont want not to lose is you.. den i dun tink theres no reason for me not to be heartbroken..

seeing the part u said u tried hard to joke wif ur parents, the scar they left, the comments they give.. i can understand how u feel.. i feel sad for u too.. i put myself in ur state.. if this thing happens to me.. i will be dam sad n lost too.. ure strong to be able to undergo all this.. my gal.. URE STRONG.. if u dun believe all these i said i oso nth to say.. i oso dunno how i can help u.. but just smth i wish to tell u.. No Matter Wad I Will Be Here For You..

"Seeing my family laidat, makes me worry toO! will my future be the same? copy n paste? i dun feel like thinking too much!! Time can change someone! Time can change someone's heart too!" u wont be the same as them i promise u.. u once promised that if im not the weiming u know anymore.. u would help me change back.. i will also do the same to u.. if u not the kexin i know anymore.. i will try my very best to change u back to the kexin i know.. we wont be like ur parents in future.. talking bout future.. u said.. "from eu. i cant see the future picture of us." u tink i would feel good after seeing this? once again.. my fragile heart shattered.. i so wan to have future wif u.. rmb wad i once said to u? i alrdy marked u as my lifetime partner.. nth will change tis mindset of mine.. but hais... my actions cant show u any future of us.. once again the same words come.. IM SUCH A LOSER

from the quote above.. u said time can change someone as well as someone's heart.. i see this.. again... my heart is gone.. its broken into pieces.. i take it as u tink my heart will change someday.. i was like WHAT THE HELL? u dun believe in me? where is the trust we have? u tink my heart will change?

"who would care so much bout my childhood fear! No one noes how hard it is! Who cares! Just throw in gabbage will do!" from wad i said above "No Matter Wad I Will Be Here For You".. from wad u said.. throw in gabbage.. can u dun tink so useless of urself.. like u meant nth to ppl around u? u meant the world to me!!! ur thing is not small case to me.. its a BIG THING to me.. i may not know how hard is it maybe cause i didnt undergo it.. but i can still be the TREE to give u security..

ALL THESE BLOG POSTS U SAID HAVE HURT ME.. haiss.. those r the reason y i got so angry over my family and shouting on the fone just now.. my mood is totally bad now..

you will never b replaced <3.
6:33 AM

Monday, December 17, 2007

these few days everyday seeing her haha.. cool eh.. alot of times is gave her surprise de.. =D and i know shes happy to see me.. not i bhb k? came upon some "not-related" guy and saw some stupid things la.. but i have to agree its totally stupid.. once i saw it i was like.. "haha?" it sounds so funny yet so unrealistic.. i was thinking.. yea u may be a ITE tats true.. but u can nv be 10 times better than me.. u can only be 10 times more stupid than me by saying such things.. if u love someone tats not the way to love.. by being a idiot and scolding other ppl boyfren tats loving her? pui.. go reflect on urself i dun talk too much.. waste my brain tinking of smth not worth thinking.. waste my time.

you will never b replaced <3.
9:39 AM

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

i was listening to this songs n i felt the lyrics some parts was quite related to us during tat "..." period..

这街上太拥挤　

太多人有秘密　

玻璃上有雾气在被隐藏起过去

你脸上的情绪　

在还原那场雨　

这巷弄太过弯曲走不回故事里

这日子不再绿　

又斑驳了几句　

剩下搬空回忆的我在大房子里

电影院的座椅　

隔遥远的距离　

感情没有对手戏你跟自己下棋

还来不及仔仔细细写下你的关于

描述我如何爱你　

你却微笑的离我而去

这感觉　已经不对　

我努力在挽回

一些些应该体贴的感觉我没给

你嘟嘴许的愿望很卑微在妥协

是我忽略　你不过要人陪

这感觉已经不对　

我最后才了解

一页页不忍翻阅的情节你好累

你默背为我掉过几次泪多憔悴

而我心碎你受罪你的美我不配

Note: the lines in red i found it vy close to how i feel..

you will never b replaced <3.
9:19 AM

its been happy days these few days for me.. know y? cause i been finding her whenever i can haha =D finding her all the time is kind of fun u know.. the joy when u get to see someone u love.. the joy of making her happy when she see u.. the joy of spending time wif her.. its simply too good =D for everyone out there. RMB! spend more time wif ur other half.. cause they need you.. only you can make them the happiest person they can be.. they're gonna spend their life with u.. so treasure them and treat them in the best way you can..

SIAN! tml test le.. im studying like mad eh.. so many chapters.. first time i study and put post-stick to the pages and even highlight the key points! woo! hardworking rite? haha no choice.. cause its last min revision + got so many things to study! can go mad one u noe.. reading so many words.. total got hmm lemme count.. 1..2..3.. theres a total of 10 chapters!! isnt tat alot.. i have to finish reading them all in a DAY!!! but anyway.. i gave up reading after 7 chapters.. feel so sleepy studying hahas.. so i decided to stop and take a break..

i cant believe i just said smth stupid again... wanted her to faster post cause i wanna see wat she posting and im waking at 8am tml.. feeling slpy too.. so i told her "can u be faster" and she said "how can u talk to me lidat siah.. dunwan talk to eu liao la".. SIAN stupid me.. always saying the wrong thing.. im simply just a relationship nerd

*posts the blog sadly.............................*

you will never b replaced <3.
8:42 AM

Saturday, December 8, 2007

After reading your blog, i really hate myself now.. hate myself for not treating the person i love well.. hate myself for not caring for your feelings.. hate myself for always hurting u numerous time.. hate myself for not being there for u.. hate myself for everything and everything.. in short IM A FAILURE!

Looks like i portrayed a VY VY VY VY VY VY VY VY VY VY bad image on u alrdy.. i dun blame u for tat cause its all my own doing.. i caused all this.. i dunwan us to remain tis way.. i will not let games control over my life.. i will i would i MUST not.. Games cant spend my life wif me.. but u will.. frens may not stay wif me forever.. but u will.. frens may not be there for me when i need someone the most.. but u will.. IM BEING SO FOOLISH for treating u so bad.. i tot i was balancing well between my frens and you.. never did i noe i hurt u so bad.. so bad tat u couldnt even fall asleep crying the whole nite.. so bad it opened a wound long kept in ur heart letting me worsen it..

I noe no matter wat happens we will figure it out and hold hand in hand braving all challenges cause tats wat we really wan to! we wan to be wif each other forever.. theres a few things here in which i wan to do for u.. but i wont wan to say it out so obviously.. empty talk is nth. wad i wan to show is wif actions.

1) (space)zfd vlf hlj skgn z.. (space)h ndzfg
2) cl (space)h (space)dfh (space)dxg (space)d(space)df gl njfg hlj zbzk(space)
3) :jg hlj k(space) (space)j(space)(space)df l(space)d :>z(space)d k(space) (space)h ndzfg

Its ok if u dun understand wat the 3 things r.. but i will tell u in future.. hope we can get back to normal soon.. will do my best not to let u have negative feelings again..

you will never b replaced <3.
6:01 PM

Friday, August 31, 2007

haha.. its been a long time since i blog.. see u blog.. plus u sent me the pics taken on ur bday.. im vy tempted to blog le.. =D Me and You, the memories of our first day together n ur first bday!! lets spend all our bdays together from now onwards yea?

ill make every year of ur bday a unforgettable one.. although the thinking process will be hard.. but its worth it haha =) ur smile is the greatest reward to all my hardwork.. if i know i have to travel over mountains in order to see the rainbow(you), i would still do it even if it would be tiring n dangerous.. cause i know at the end of the journey i would be able to see the rainbow. its worth it.

haiis.. sian wor.. now budget so tight lor.. have to control the money i spend on the places i wan to go.. wan visit u oso harder le.. not much money to travel ard.. im left wif 15dollars for the whole of next week.. not including my transportation cost!! i hope i can last thru that week.. after tat week jiu "yu guo tian qing". cause its the arrival of my pocket money!! hahas.. plus if everyone returns me my money next month.. ill have an extra of 80dollars to spend alot rite? hees.. think of it i feel excited liao.. can go to alot more places n go out more wif herr. can go watch movies oso =DD

on the 28th, was her bday. a very impt day for me too haha.. had to prepare my surprise for her =D i was vy JING ZHANG before tat LAH!~ kept calling xiaowei to tell her i was anxious.. i couldn't possibly tell kexin instead rite? haha if lidat im vy dumbdumb liao.. its like exposing my surprise myself. lucky she nv angry wor.. cause the next day morning i have my exams. but i still go gave her a surprise at midnite n cant go home to sleep.. thanks ahkee for letting me stay overnite at your house.. thanks xiaowei too for helping me to call kexin down.. without them.. my surprise wouldnt be a success le.. THANKS both of you "blur couple" XD

as for wad my surprise is.. i wont say here le haha.. cause the people close to me all know le.. no need say her eh.. partly also cause i abit lazy type la haha.. vy tired wanna slp le.. so ill end here =D

Below are some of the pics we took together during her bday celebration at nite..

VVVVVVVVVVV

VVVVVVVVV

VVVVVVV

VVVVV

VVV

Me n herr

Her, her, her and her

isn't she sweet and pretty? =)

the lovely and sweet couple

you will never b replaced <3.
10:54 AM

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

today vy early wake up wor.. the first time i did so much for a EXAM.. woke up at 6am!! first time in my poly life woke up so early lor.. den go sch rmb i forgot to bring my binary calculator sia.. WA LIEW WEI.. ytd go buy wif kexin at cwp.. 21.40dollar sia!!! my frens buy at sch 19dollars only sia.. i buy so exp.. feel like got scammed de gan jue.. but true la.. they buy at sch.. sure cheaper.. i buy at popular lor.. y they call it "popular" not popular at all lor.. so exp! shud sell cheaper den can become popular everyone will go ma.. singaporeans so giam siap haha all wan cheap cheap.. anyway.. lucky i still got bring my old calculator.. tat time use till no battery.. today duno y miraclously can use sia.. issit heaven bless me? or issit cause i got her wif me giving me all the good luck.. =D

my exam lasts for 2 hours.. but i 1 hour which is 9.30am jiu finish le.. wanted to go surprise her under her block de haha.. but when go out of exam hall tat time my classmates oso go together.. den bo bian sia.. cannot pangseh.. must stay n wait till all my classmates out.. which is 10.30am sia.. SPOILT MY PLAN LOR!! Zzz.. NVM! ill find chance to give her a surprise de.. haha i guarantee it gonna make her rmb it for life.. i hope XD

10.30am finally arrived.. walked towards the train station with a classmate.. he going ngee ann poly(clementi) to find his girlfren.. so envy of him sia.. so sweet wif his girlfren.. dunno when i can have one hahas.. hmm anyway.. the trip to jurong east was tough i admit.. cause i cant seem to click wif him.. naturally dunhav topic to talk wif him sia.. felt like being alone not talking at all.. but no choice hes my classmate.. need to socialize!! not only him la actually.. i cant click wif the rest of my classmates.. i dunno y.. but i just feel tat im like not part of they fren when come to playing.. im always having tat left out feeling..

Reach jurong east tat time i tot i would be late.. nv knew i was the first to reach!! she(u noe who la), xiaowei, and ahkee still halfway only wor.. den they tell me meet them at JEC de KFC lor.. den i feel like going toilet sia hahas.. when i out from toilet the first thing i saw was they 3.. but they didnt saw me.. tat stupid dumbdumb, xiaowei, i walk till beside her den call her tat time den she knew i was there.. i shocked her la!! haha it was funny.. shes blur.. but blur till rather cute i admit.. ahkee dun beat me ar hahas.. just commenting =X her shorts today special wor.. first time see her wear tis pair of shorts.. she give me the feeling tat she got alot of shorts haha.. everytime see her oso different shorts de.. only shoe nv change.. of course rite? change shoe everytime? shes not rich till tat extent la hahas.. we were deciding wat to eat n LONG JOHN was the decision.. initially i was not really vy hungry de la.. but go in order n start eating liao.. WOOT i suddenly feel vy hungry haha.. eat finish liao still go buy waffle to eat.. THE WAFFLE VY NICE ORHS! chocolate de eh.. xiaowei's favourite haha but dunno wat brand de.. definitely not the brand of her choice.. Eating tat time was so fun haha.. xiaowei n ahkee funny couple eh.. always arguing de.. looking at them.. i admit im fortunate.. at least me n her vy peaceful de haha.. they two eat ar.. i tell u.. the ppl beside must take shield de ar!! got food flying here n there de.. first was coleshaw.. den was coke.. after tat was chicken or crumps i forgot.. HEEs.. me n her shared the coleshaw.. our first action after our agreement the previous nite.. its was "whatever good things or bad things we will share with each other"

finish eating le shopped awhile b4 we walked to SCIENCE CENTRE!! hahas was fun there la.. too bad ahkee had to leave early.. pity him.. hais... =(( at the science centre keep busy finding u guys la haha.. all walk seperately de.. find till sian until i decided to just sit at the chair n wait for u all walk finish come find me haha.. oh ya! kexin u ar.. haha use the com behind me to tag me.. den i go see wat u doing u dunwan lemme see.. anyway i tink i really vy smart la... haha.. y? cause...cause..cause.. i used the touchscreen computer there wif no desktop de.. i mananged to use it to play the default computer game "spider solataire" haha.. SMART RITE? i oso tink so hahas.. BHB

when we finally left the science centre it was near 6pm le sia.. so late rite? haha.. hmm after tat we went to play at the park outside science centre.. the things there amazing la.. especially the 2 big big satelite-like yellow tin.. can transmit ur voice over a large distance sia.. AMAZING RITE?!? today see xiaowei sad sad.. me n her oso lost mood le.. i noe shes feeling all right now when im writing the blog le.. u say next time u see us must tell us wad happened de ar.. promise hor! anyway.. when she was emo-ing at one side.. me n her was quite a distance away where we could see her.. dunno if xiaowei got see us there.. was telling her bout my past.. and y i like old houses haha.. got u noe the hometown feeling? will tink of my childhood sia.. she was standing while i lazy haha... was sitting on the ledge.. i scared fall down lol.. den put my hand over her shoulders.. lucky she nv push my hand away sia.. always put there she dunlike.. scared become shorter.. i feel alot closer to her tat moment.. *smiles*

when its about time xiaowei go home.. we sent her off.. kexin needed to go Little India to find her mum for wedding dinner.. i suggested taking double deck bus there.. it was a bad idea la!!..

1stly is cause of my motion sickness.. i hate it.. the latter part of the trip i keep feel like vomiting.. so xinku~~ but to see u longer.. its worth it de.. seriously..
2ndly is cause the trip was too long.. during the trip her mum n ahgal keep calling her sia.. can sense that they really wan her to get there asap! was really worried ur mum will scold u.. i felt so guilty la.. i dunwan her to scold u.. that feeling was no good.. like i said.. i dunwan anything to happen to u.. only the best for u if possible..
In the end, the bus we took didnt get to little india sia.. it went all the way to lavender before we decided to alight.. den faster took a taxi to little india.. no choice haha.. some money cannot save one.. =) the money was spent worthwhile.. at least its not spent on useless things.. but its spent on u.. the most impt person in my life.. i meant it.. BUT i really hated the driver.. he keep drive vy fast n stop suddenly.. keep going on n on.. his driving skills i have to praise him.. really S-U-C-K.. SUCKS!! made my vomiting problem worst la.. the trip i keep pulling back.. if not i tink vomit out liao left u this stupid driver wash ur car urself.. but tinking bout it.. i forgive u la uncle haha cause u drive fast.. which was wad we needed.. but next time can dun keep stopping? must be considerate ah.. i vy forgiving de.. will forgive u..

During our bus trip ah, dunno y.. we suddenly talked bout kissing de.. den u told me bout u n gee soon de past lor.. hmm when u told me hes the only guy u kissed b4.. n it was vy sweet.. i admit tat moment i was vy sad.. my heart nearly shattered.. u even said u dun bear to let him send u home cause u really love him lots.. i asked if i can be compared to him.. u say cannot.. hais.. tat moment my heart is really shattered liao lor.. i wanna be ur best choice.. the choice u wont ever regret.. but now i tink if gee soon say he number 2 i only can say i number 3 liao.. =(( after tat i did tot bout it.. hmm well wat did i tot of? it was.. the person u love now is me wad.. i tink so much for wad.. its the past alrdy.. so wat if i cant compare wif him.. hes the past.. im the future.. if this matter concerns me tat much.. means i didnt give u the trust! TRUST IS VY IMPT!! No Trust = No An Quan Gan = Break.. i dunwan tat to happen.. so when i dun trust her.. i will tell myself.. "NO NO NO!".. hahas..

Yesterday before i sleep we did talk about our relationship now.. we both agreed tat our relationship vy strange.. can say we look like we are together.. but if say together we oso not together..

den i gave her two options to choose lor..

1) lets be together

2) remain this way

i know its hard to make this decision..

so i go slp first lor.. need to wake up early for exam today ma.. frankly speaking.. i cant sleep for quite awhile.. waiting for ur sms see ur ans.. but u didnt.. so i forced myself to slp.. den morning wake up i see my sms again.. no reply from u.. hais.. so sad lor.. den today at science centre asked for ur reply.. u cant give the ans.. true la.. we just known each other not long.. must think carefully.. dun make mistake.. if not later rush matters.. stead le found out not the right one.. den so fast break.. i dunwan lor.. i alrdy marked u as my lifelong partner le.. u say i tink too far rite.. but i duncare! tats wat i tink.. u may say im wrong.. but u cant change wat i tink.. tats why i trying not to rush things.. i wan us to be like fairytale.. "happily ever after"..

i vy long-winded hor.. blog so long haha.. so long nv blog le.. bear wif it lahhs =D Smiles!

you will never b replaced <3.
8:01 AM