Thursday, December 20, 2007
saw ur post my heart shattered.. after u posted the new song.. its was like u breaking the shattered pieces of my heart more.. i feel so much like just escaping reality and care nth about this.. but im the type who MUST settle problems.. somemore I LOVE YOU tats y i dunwan escape reality.
"傻瓜 我们都一样被爱情伤了又伤相信这个他不一样却又再一次受伤" when i asked u if it represents u.. u said dunno i treated it as a yes.. i tot i could be a guy who can make a difference in ur life. turns out im no diff from ur ex.. misplacing the trust u gave n hurting u again.. IM SUCH A LOSER.. i noe u will try convince me tat im not.. but i know i am still one..
"傻瓜 我们都一样受了伤却不投降相信付出会有代价代价只是一句傻瓜" when i asked if this represents u.. u said dunno again.. and i treated it as yes.. this line proven the first line on top tat i m someone where u trying giving ur love and i treated it lightly..
"Sometimes or i shud say everytime, whenever i sees them, i would envys them! I dunno why either. or maybe i dunno how lucky am i bahhs..." i know vy clearly that the them u meant is jianliang and xiaowei just tat i asked u again just to make sure i dun anyhow think.. i noe i cant give u wad jianliang gives her.. jianliang is always treating her so gd.. like shes a gem.. and making u feel unlike when u see them.. i know i cant give u wad jianliang can give her.. IM SUCH A LOSER.. i dunno if im right to say this.. but can u dun always compare our love wif other ppl.. u ownself tell me diff ppl have diff ways of loving.. i feel so confused..
the part bout u saying wan commit suicide.. u said u have though about it before.. "i myself have thought of it too." i dunno if its now or last time.. if its now.. if u choose to die.. i have nth to say.. cause this shows that theres nth left in this world to keep u going on.. including me..
"What i believe is, when eu are about to die, or have think of dying, the person that came into ur mind, is the person that eu wouldnt bear to LOSE!!! Touch ur heart and ask yourself!!I know what ur answer is. And i noe im not the person that eu dont wish to lose! maybe ur other friends? maybe ur family? maybe ur hu n hu? i dunno! " if this line meant me.. den i wanna tell u that wat makes u think u wont come into my mind.. have u it ever came to ur mind tat.. if u were not the person tat i wont want to lose when im about to die.. do u tink i would still love you? do u tink i would still be wif u? do u tink i would still find u? do u tink i would still bother to chat wif u? do u tink i would always think bout u? do u tink i would change for u? do u tink you could affect my moods? do u tink... so many do u tink.. tis is all i can say.. if u still dun tink the person i wont want not to lose is you.. den i dun tink theres no reason for me not to be heartbroken..
seeing the part u said u tried hard to joke wif ur parents, the scar they left, the comments they give.. i can understand how u feel.. i feel sad for u too.. i put myself in ur state.. if this thing happens to me.. i will be dam sad n lost too.. ure strong to be able to undergo all this.. my gal.. URE STRONG.. if u dun believe all these i said i oso nth to say.. i oso dunno how i can help u.. but just smth i wish to tell u.. No Matter Wad I Will Be Here For You..
"Seeing my family laidat, makes me worry toO! will my future be the same? copy n paste? i dun feel like thinking too much!! Time can change someone! Time can change someone's heart too!" u wont be the same as them i promise u.. u once promised that if im not the weiming u know anymore.. u would help me change back.. i will also do the same to u.. if u not the kexin i know anymore.. i will try my very best to change u back to the kexin i know.. we wont be like ur parents in future.. talking bout future.. u said.. "from eu. i cant see the future picture of us." u tink i would feel good after seeing this? once again.. my fragile heart shattered.. i so wan to have future wif u.. rmb wad i once said to u? i alrdy marked u as my lifetime partner.. nth will change tis mindset of mine.. but hais... my actions cant show u any future of us.. once again the same words come.. IM SUCH A LOSER
from the quote above.. u said time can change someone as well as someone's heart.. i see this.. again... my heart is gone.. its broken into pieces.. i take it as u tink my heart will change someday.. i was like WHAT THE HELL? u dun believe in me? where is the trust we have? u tink my heart will change?
"who would care so much bout my childhood fear! No one noes how hard it is! Who cares! Just throw in gabbage will do!" from wad i said above "No Matter Wad I Will Be Here For You".. from wad u said.. throw in gabbage.. can u dun tink so useless of urself.. like u meant nth to ppl around u? u meant the world to me!!! ur thing is not small case to me.. its a BIG THING to me.. i may not know how hard is it maybe cause i didnt undergo it.. but i can still be the TREE to give u security..
ALL THESE BLOG POSTS U SAID HAVE HURT ME.. haiss.. those r the reason y i got so angry over my family and shouting on the fone just now.. my mood is totally bad now..
you will never b replaced <3.
6:33 AM
